A Book of Rogues and Imposters

"Well, yeah, but you walk like a velociraptor."

(She does. Nice epic knots in her calves, too.)

"..... *disgruntled* The Air is hard to bite."

"I guess I can't do yoga while I'm wanted by the police . . . "


"Actually, you can be a little bit pregnant."
"Like, Schrodinger pregnant!"


"Ooooh! Are we french braiding his dreads? We could do a coronet!"
"... I've never worn that look before. . . "


"Where's a guy gotta go for entertainment?"
"... Davie Street?"
"*pause for massive snerk* I don't think I can bring Edmonton to Vancouver."


"Carolyn, extract yourself from the pineapple and come get stuff!"


"I've never had antlers before."


"I could be Skeletor for you . . ."

I've added the links, and the latter section was sent about seven minutes after the first, but otherwise, I typed this in bed, on the Widow.

To: Veggie

Guess who's still difficult to sleep around.

No, go on, guess.

He's trying to bend my forearm through sheer force of purr so he can cuddle my head instead of charging. But wow, shades of the past.


.... The snoring is much cuter when it's not conducting into your forehead. Or drooling.

The sleep purring is kind of cute, though.

Lis (5-something): Any plans for socializing tonight? I'm leaving Burnaby not long from now.

Tae (5-something): I think our major plans (after collecting an airmattress from M) are heading south, unfortunately.  My mom's coming up from Seattle for early tomorrow to attack The Move and it's mean to abandon Veggie to my mom with no buffer. Stupid logistical planning.

Lis (6-something): Hokay; I'd love a chance to say bye to K. 

Tae (6-something): When are you expecting to be back on the shore?

Lis (6-something): Landing at Waterfront at 6:30. 

Tae (6-something): :)  Hop up to ours, then?

Lis (6-something): Delayed until 6:45. When are you going to M's?

Tae (6-something): When she lets me know she's home, really.

-

Tae (7-something): Swinging by M's place for the other air mattress, then heading south.

Veggie: So you're talking more 10-ish arrival, now . . .

Tae: People wanted hugs and shit, I don't even know. =\

Veggie: *dying* Heartless.

Tae: The hydrogens are bonding about early generation PC games (Quake vs Doom vs which version was that again?).

I'm slightly weirded out.

Dormouse: ...me too.  *passes you the popcorn*

"Why do you hate my singing?!"

"Because you beat the key up in a back alley and left it for dead."

"Why would anyone want to kill a bunch of entrepreneurial hipsters? ...Wait."

"But then I don't need my wallet--"

"You don't need your wallet to pee anyway."

" . . . Is the back seat quacking?"

"I can heat my hands with my face!"

(No context for you. My left optic nerve is trying to escape my head.)

Initial context: Monkey 1 has headed upstairs, presumably to go to bed; Monkey 2 is still flopped on the couch in the living room.

------

Monkey 1: *emails* #occupyblankets: I'm in ur ruum. Stagin protests.

Monkey 2: *does not notice email*

( why on earth are you protesting my sheets? )

"If it's going to be below freezing WHY DON'T WE GET SNOW."
"Because the gods HATE US."
"FUCK THE COMPANY"
"WE'RE SORRY PORT OF LA"*
"BUT NOT PORT OF BELLINGHAM"
"Bwahahahaha!"
"'CAUSE YOU SUCK TOO MUCH TO BLOW UP"
"XD"
"YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE SNOW"


*: So The Losers and A-Team came out the same year and Happened to the same port, and their opponents are the same government agency, which can also be referred to as The Company. There are a few stories out there that cross the two movies over. At least one story involved hacking the digital billboards leading down a major Los Angeles highway to read, alternating:

Fuck the Company!

We're Sorry, Port of L.A.!

This may have been adopted as a household Phrase Exchange.

"It's not really fair to our kids* if I'm the normal parent."


*: We joke about future tiny Greek choruses frequently.

"This is what happens when you don't lock your knees! Cats can push you off-balance!"

"..... *covers face with hands*"

"Unexpected massage was unexpected."

"Trigger point massage? ... *sniffs!* Spa massage! You smell like a Buddhist temple!"

Why yes, yes I do. And now need to wash my hair the day after I washed it. Having my scalp massaged was lovely, but my hair's now trying to either channel Medusa or Hermione Granger and neither of those tends to end well.

Tomorrow is the last day in instruction for French 101. We have a test (and oral interviews) Monday, and then Tuesday we start up 102.

"Yes, but your parents will drink anything nonsentient!"

(You'd think there was a guest in the house or something.)

One end of couch to other end of couch: "I now cannot think about the snap crackle and pop of your joints without immediately segueing into cucumbers"

Other end of couch: *griiiin!*

Armchair: *Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Face*

Couch: *starts laaaaaughing*

Armchair: *Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Face*

Other end of couch: Remember that post?

Armchair: OH! Right!

"So you typed until it hurt. =|"

"In my defense, I didn't know there was a problem until it started hurting."



(I was transcribing old, old notes from hardcopy to text docs in the interest of not moving papers I didn't really need. Also, I hurt all the time; it's only noteworthy when my symptoms change.

Yeah, you can flatline face at me. Just be thankful I didn't follow up on last night's impulse to see how many of the forty-plus responses to a poll from March I could hit today.

Seventeen more days until I'm allowed to take standard painkillers. Coincidentally that's also the day the house in Seattle is officially no longer ours.)

"Vivre le tomat libre!"

(I'm aware the french is probably Wrong.) (*corrects verb*)

"it's a pleasant fiction to think that orca are pleasant, respectful animals."

"wolves of the ocean come in fashionable black and white death!"

"... yes, if wolves were... more death on legs. if we had... carnivorous giant rhino's that had amazing eye sight and a tendency to teach their young with the bodies of their prey...
... actually those would be pretty sweet. change of plans babe, I'mna get a degree in genetic engineering."

"Eat or your computer starves!"

"The landlord's got a staplegun, the rats aren't using artillery, promise."

" . . . I think independently you would never have invented cryptography."

Original context here, for those who have access to it.

Tae: Braaaaaaains?
Caro: No brains, only Zuul.
Veggie: But then what will Zuul eat?
Tae: Tentacles!
Veggie: Okay, so maybe the tentacles were different.